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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

IGBOS - IT’S TIME TO TAKE STOCK - WAKE UP!!!

        
        Those who have read the book “Cry the beloved country” (story about South Africa at the ebb of political turbulence) - by Alan Paton,  may want to use a similar phrase for the Igbo Nation - in words such as “Cry the  beloved nation.” In Cry the beloved country, A black country preacher went to Johannesburg seeking his brother, sister, and son, and found a chaotic world torn by racial politics. Aided by a noble minister, he finds that his three relations have become a revolutionary, a prostitute, and a murderer. Salvaging what he could of the family, he returns to the countryside to try to begin life anew.
        
        For many Igbos, the picture painted above may be similar to what is happening at this time as Kidnapping, Armed Robbery, Assassinations, lynching, envy, greed, lack of love, looting of government treasury, lack of jobs and vocations for the youth, infrastructure, amenities, etc., for the people, seem to have taken over Igbo land. However, the question we should be asking ourselves is mainly this - What remains to be salvaged in the midst of the atrocities listed above and others not mentioned. As we keep that thought and question in mind, let us move a step further.
        
        Igbo forums, associations, yahoo groups, etc. have created beautiful and wonderful platforms for many Igbo  - both erudite, commonsensical, not so erudite, the academia, journalists, professors, lawyers, engineers, doctors, accountants, teachers, etc., both in Nigeria, and in the Diaspora to put mind and thought together regarding events in our country Nigeria in general and Igbo land in particular. The forums created and those who have founded them are laudable as well as commendable. On the other hand, according to many critics, certain language usage on these forums has become a source of concern to peace - loving personalities and individuals. Some of the words spoken leave a lot of room for questioning and doubts as to whether they are serving the right purposes and indeed progressing the causes, unity, and progress, for which the forums are intended and created, 
        
                       
        Some people use these forums for name-calling, abusive language, incendiaries, invectives, that would cause others to wonder in disbelief. Both those who call and are called names have children, relatives and are Igbos as well.  The question arises as to whether well-meaning people should be washing their dirty linens in public? Subjective criticisms, name - calling, fruitless arguments without solutions will not lead the Igbo nation anywhere in the Nigerian polity at this time. It is time to cease from the overdrawn debates, show-off of academic qualifications, grammatical aggrandizement, fault-finding, finger-pointing, who-will-win-the-debate syndrome, who-speaks-the-better-English syndrome and other syndromes that have retrogressed the Igbos - (particularly Imo Igbos) in the Nigerian polity.
        
        Internet forums, groups, associations, etc. should be platforms for progressive debates, suggestions and recommendations for problem-solving processes, unity, progress and teaching the youth and our children the way to go. This is because our children are watching and they are good readers as well. 
        
        We cannot continue to pursue or trail the same unyielding routes in our discourses every year and expect to make progress. If a route is not yielding good harvest, it is to be closed or modified, whichever is more productive and cost-effective.  Based on certain behavioral manifestations of some Igbos, it is then not surprising that the Igbo are yet to be recognized as catalysts of political change by powerful nations. This is because many have refused to look beyond their faces. Some have refused to follow the light at the end of the tunnel. Others have become very individualistic to their own detriment as they continually refuse to see the good in others. Many find it difficult to cooperate or work well with others. Everyone wants to be captain of the ship. These people tend to forget that too many captains drown the ship. They have refused to be cooperative. They talk about being their “brothers’ keepers and at the slightest provocation will become brothers’ kdnappers. Furthermore, the wealthy do not look out for the poor and as a result, the poor does not seem to care about the wealthy. For these and other reasons, the Igbo nation is faced presently, with anarchy, kidnapping, 419, armed robbery, etc., etc.
        
        Many progressive nations have realized the power behind “The Law” and Culture. Not so, for Igbos who have no written law or legally-binding instruments, yet are ready to assimilate any foreign culture with the hunger of a wolf. They want to speak English better than the Englishman does. As a result many of their children including mine cannot speak Igbo very well. They were so willing and quick to abandon their culture during colonization to their peril. The Hausas have ingrained Sharia and their written law into the Nigerian constitution and laws of the nation. Yorubas have written law - researched and ingrained into the Nigerian legal system.  Igbos where are yours?  Many of you are erudite scholars, highly intelligent individuals, yet delight in castigating each other instead of working together for progress. “If it is not me, it cannot be some-one-else syndrome has eaten into the fabric of the nation. “If it is not Orlu it cannot be Owerri or Mbano or Mbaise.” “If it is not Mbaise, it cannot be Mbaitolu,” etc., etc.” These syndromes are ruining Igbo political system, if there is one. It is time for change. 
        
        Suffice then to ask the following questions now. Nd’Igbo, who are your heroes?  Who are your benefactors? Who are your founding fathers? Who are your mentors?  You say “Igbo enwegh eze,” What happened to your “Council of Nzes” How come you have that word “Eze” in your language, if the position did not exist? Those who invented the phrase of lack of leadership or rulership commenced the setting up of anarchy in the Igbo nation, unfortunately.  Even now, Igbos still fail to acknowledge their heroes. Who are your The Igbo leaders? To many of you, Zik was not good, Ibiam, Okpara, Mbadiwe, (may their heroic souls rest in peace) were not good enough, Ojukwu is not good, who is good? Who do you fear? No-one? Not god? This is unfortunate. However, the fact remains and is glaring that progressive people and nations acquire their inspiration, motivation, and goal-attainment vigor through positive emulation, of attributes of their passed heroes, leaders,  mentors, benefactors, generations. Is it not because we lacked positive emulation that the children who are criminals did not imbibe those attributes, mores, character, culture, nationalistic tendencies to be humane and forward-looking individuals? Is it then surprising that many youths have now formed a major and integral part of a nation where anything goes and nothing can be done about it? Is it perplexing that many have found recourse and fulfillment in vices such as cultism, armed robbery, 419, kidnapping of parents, siblings, and relatives (to get rich quick),  prostitution, looting of government treasury, etc. Is this because “Igbos have no eze,” no law or binding legal system, no taboos, lack respect, discipline, and fear and therefore, anything goes and many parents did not portray themselves as their children’s heroes?”
        
        Notwithstanding the seeming helplessness of the situation described above, not all is lost. America for example, started with some native Americans, a few colonists, no unifying laws and no constitution. Today, it is the greatest country in the world, despite the economic meltdown. It did not happen in a day. America listened to heroes, developed a culture of containment, assimilation of all entities, worked with inventors, talented people, erudite people, laws, pacts, agreements, legal / binding contract-signings, and the spirit of nationhood. American schoolbooks and literature are rife, preponderant and overflowing with stories of American heroes past and present. American society is one of hero-worship. Nd’Igbo cannot change the course of nature. Not everyone can be a national hero. That is the truth of the matter. However, identify and name your heroes, tell their stories for your children to emulate. In addition, Igbo parents must endeavor to be heroes to your children and not “villains, kidnappers, looters of government coffers, and / or thieves. In addition, heroism does not come in one gender. United Kingdom also has heroes. It has the strongest dynasty headed by a woman. This is because heroism and bravery does not discriminate. We must acknowledge talent and worship our heroes, whether they be male or female. Hero-worship builds positive attributes. Mahatma Ghandi, American presidents, inventors, Nobel laureates, astronauts,  national leaders, Ben Gurion of Israel, Mandella of South Africa, Nkrumah of Ghana, Aguiyi Ironsi, Muritala Mohammed, Othman Dan Fodio, Awolowo, Zik, of Nigeria, Golda Meir of Israel, and so many, many others living or dead were and are heroes, worthy of note. Thieves, looters, killers, kidnappers are never heroes no matter how their pictures are modified or painted. Nd’Igbo must have heroes for our children’s positive advancement.   
        
        One more thing, it is also a case of concern that the Nd’Igbo have the largest turn out of cultural organizations. Every town wants to segregate itself from its neighbor for financial gains. This is ruining Igbo progress. However, it is commendable that recently many are beginning to see the positive attributes of coming together instead of disintegration. Indeed, it is high time the Nd’Igbo started seeing themselves as one physical and spiritual nation. Forget not that disintegration breeds disunity. It is not by happenstance that you all speak one language. Nature has a reason for that to happen. “Oh, he or she is from Anambra, or from Imo so I cannot deal with him or her” is another very bad syndrome. The time has come for Igbos like the Jews, the Europeans, and many other nations begin to see themselves as one, if they really desire progress and change. No matter where the Yorubas or Hausas are is in the world, they work together and see themselves as Omo Yoruba or Dan Arewa, respectively. Many Nd’Igbo on the other hand see themselves as from Imo, Anambra, Akwa-Ibom, Delta, Rivers, Cross-river, Bayelsa, etc.  To be progressive and to cease from the underdog stature in Nigerian politics, this mentality needs a reverse. If you speak Igbo, you are IGBO. No human-created or imposed boundary can change that. Coming together will give you more power, more influence, recognition, and dignity. Disintegration, and disassociating will only lead to segregation  and isolationist tendencies. We should remember that The European Union recognizes the power and strength in pulling resources and population together. Igbos must emulate positive tendencies and process, when they happen.
        
        Great nations were built on unity of purpose, clear goals, heroism, discipline, clear opportunities for all citizens, laws, rules, regulations, agreement, culture, and not on selfishness, greed, avarice, indiscipline, individualism, anarchy, “winner takes all” effect, etc. Thus, it is indeed time for the Igbo people to set standards, and guidelines for rulership and leadership. It is time for the people to demand good education, vocation, and labor, for their children and youth. It is time to demand salary and payment at appropriate time for the workers, parents and heads of households, Government money is not private property to be shared among friends or between family members. Money meant for industries, salaries, infrastructure, vocation, labor, jobs, seem to be concentrated in the hands of individuals. That is why in Imo State and all over Nigeria, private homes are sprouting up like flowers in spring and summer while schools are dilapidated, and the youths are jobless. This is because money is held in private hands as liquid cash. That is also, why people are able to bring out tens of millions of naira when their relatives are kidnapped. As a result, kidnapping is thriving and the perpetrators know this. If the liquid cash is plunged into building industries, providing jobs, building requisite infrastructure, there will be no ready liquid cash for armed robbers and kidnappers and these crimes will minimize. In fact, money is worth more when it is used to build, advance and progress humans and society. 
        
        My people, the time is now for deliberate and quiet revolutions in many aspects of Igbo life and culture in order to give the nationhood the dignity deserving of it. Without doing this, the IGBO nation and all of the South East of Nigeria will continue to be in perpetual anarchy and turmoil.   We must recognize heroes. Pave new ways and routes to move forward. The time is now for a reawakening to revolutionize culture, create and produce our written laws that will be integrated into the national legal system. It is time to refuse looters and thieves as leaders and rulers. It is time to be heroes for our children. It is the time to build and stop tearing down. The time is now to take stock. We have slept for too long. We must wake up.



If I say that I'm impressed with this unprecedented pieces of advice to my Igbo people, I minimize the importance of the time, energy and effort that you put into this wonderful, cerebral discourse. If I didn't know you very well, I may have fallen into the usual shameful, chauvinistic, tired machismo and macho temptation of thinking that this may have been the handiwork of my menfolk who continue to dominate and bestride Igboland today like a Collosus. Isn't time to try our women on the corridors of power. But I know you very well. I'm proud to have been associated with you at our Imo Association, NY where I've watched how you tackle every issue with characteristic aplomb. I know the quality, the pain, the finesse, thoughfulness and thoroghness you bring to any subject that you handle. You may have set out to advice our people but inadvertently ended up giving them a "Bible" a GPS to get out of the irretrievable quagmire of confusion, directionless they have fallen into. Currently, Igbo land can be likened to a rudderless ship in a tempestous sea. I'm surprised that you did not emphasize that we have superceded our Yoruba neighbors as the worst noisemakers in the world today. The difference however is that while we share this commonality, we have nothing to show for it. The only good thing that comes out of this shameful exuberance is that we have elevatdd it to a profession called, Otimkpu. Hence, you now watch in desperation, young and old chorusing and extoling the qualities of thieves and looters in our midst. What a shame! The day of reckoning is around the corner.

Thank you for this piece. I have already printed and saved in my drawer and will treasure it all my life. May I however put a little damper to your commendable effort. I doubt very much that they will read it. Music played to the deaf is a lost music.




Thank you McLord for seeing the difference in Dr. Emihe's essay as opposed to others that have hidden agenda in their writing. Some were sent to write, others write to attract attention, while others write to impress. Emihe, by this writing, wrote out of the abundant of her heart as she touched knowns and unknowns, the speakables and unspeakables alike.

I have known Emihe for a while now but recently have worked closely with her as she serves as the chairperson of Education committee of our cherished Imo Association and a member of our political activities committee where she is the secretary. As the education committee Chair, she just handed me a ten page memo of her road map towards the activities of the committee. Dr. Emihe, though physically shy, is mentally upbeat and averse on diverse issues as can be deduced from the present essay.

She spoke like the old prophets who first spell out doom but later come with a consolation. She admonished Nd'Igbo at the beginning for their verses but later consoles them and  proffers solutions. She calls for a revolution, a different kind of revolution. Not the kind that comes with maming and destruction but a deliberate and quiet revolutions in many aspects of Igbo life and culture. This sounds like the Jesus message of his kingdom and kingship which was very much misunderstood in the world of his time. A revolution without human cost is truly not easy to understand in the world of our time. Specifically she says it is time to be heroes of our children, time to refuse looters and thieves as leaders and rulers, time to build and stop tearing down, time to take stock, time for awakening to revolutionize our culture and produce our written laws that will be integrated into our national legal system, among others.

Her call may not be the first in nature or of its kind but the more things are happening, the more the very obvious start to make more sense. Igbo used to have Ofo na Ogu which guided their actions both in private and in public. Since the later have been systematically destroyed, maybe the call for a formal written law of the land (the so called customary laws) may be in order.




Those who have read the book “Cry the beloved country” (story about South Africa at the ebb of political turbulence) - by Alan Paton,  may want to use a similar phrase for the Igbo Nation - in words such as “Cry the  beloved nation.” In Cry the beloved country, A black country preacher went to Johannesburg seeking his brother, sister, and son, and found a chaotic world torn by racial politics. Aided by a noble minister, he finds that his three relations have become a revolutionary, a prostitute, and a murderer. Salvaging what he could of the family, he returns to the countryside to try to begin life anew.

For many Igbos, the picture painted above may be similar to what is happening at this time as Kidnapping, Armed Robbery, Assassinations, lynching, envy, greed, lack of love, looting of government treasury, lack of jobs and vocations for the youth, infrastructure, amenities, etc., for the people, seem to have taken over Igbo land. However, the question we should be asking ourselves is mainly this - What remains to be salvaged in the midst of the atrocities listed above and others not mentioned. As we keep that thought and question in mind, let us move a step further.

Igbo forums, associations, yahoo groups, etc. have created beautiful and wonderful platforms for many Igbo  - both erudite, commonsensical, not so erudite, the academia, journalists, professors, lawyers, engineers, doctors, accountants, teachers, etc., both in Nigeria, and in the Diaspora to put mind and thought together regarding events in our country Nigeria in general and Igbo land in particular. The forums created and those who have founded them are laudable as well as commendable. On the other hand, according to many critics, certain language usage on these forums has become a source of concern to peace - loving personalities and individuals. Some of the words spoken leave a lot of room for questioning and doubts as to whether they are serving the right purposes and indeed progressing the causes, unity, and progress, for which the forums are intended and created, 

               
Some people use these forums for name-calling, abusive language, incendiaries, invectives, that would cause others to wonder in disbelief. Both those who call and are called names have children, relatives and are Igbos as well.  The question arises as to whether well-meaning people should be washing their dirty linens in public? Subjective criticisms, name - calling, fruitless arguments without solutions will not lead the Igbo nation anywhere in the Nigerian polity at this time. It is time to cease from the overdrawn debates, show-off of academic qualifications, grammatical aggrandizement, fault-finding, finger-pointing, who-will-win-the-debate syndrome, who-speaks-the-better-English syndrome and other syndromes that have retrogressed the Igbos - (particularly Imo Igbos) in the Nigerian polity.

Internet forums, groups, associations, etc. should be platforms for progressive debates, suggestions and recommendations for problem-solving processes, unity, progress and teaching the youth and our children the way to go. This is because our children are watching and they are good readers as well. 

We cannot continue to pursue or trail the same unyielding routes in our discourses every year and expect to make progress. If a route is not yielding good harvest, it is to be closed or modified, whichever is more productive and cost-effective.  Based on certain behavioral manifestations of some Igbos, it is then not surprising that the Igbo are yet to be recognized as catalysts of political change by powerful nations. This is because many have refused to look beyond their faces. Some have refused to follow the light at the end of the tunnel. Others have become very individualistic to their own detriment as they continually refuse to see the good in others. Many find it difficult to cooperate or work well with others. Everyone wants to be captain of the ship. These people tend to forget that too many captains drown the ship. They have refused to be cooperative. They talk about being their “brothers’ keepers and at the slightest provocation will become brothers’ kdnappers. Furthermore, the wealthy do not look out for the poor and as a result, the poor does not seem to care about the wealthy. For these and other reasons, the Igbo nation is faced presently, with anarchy, kidnapping, 419, armed robbery, etc., etc.

Many progressive nations have realized the power behind “The Law” and Culture. Not so, for Igbos who have no written law or legally-binding instruments, yet are ready to assimilate any foreign culture with the hunger of a wolf. They want to speak English better than the Englishman does. As a result many of their children including mine cannot speak Igbo very well. They were so willing and quick to abandon their culture during colonization to their peril. The Hausas have ingrained Sharia and their written law into the Nigerian constitution and laws of the nation. Yorubas have written law - researched and ingrained into the Nigerian legal system.  Igbos where are yours?  Many of you are erudite scholars, highly intelligent individuals, yet delight in castigating each other instead of working together for progress. “If it is not me, it cannot be some-one-else syndrome has eaten into the fabric of the nation. “If it is not Orlu it cannot be Owerri or Mbano or Mbaise.” “If it is not Mbaise, it cannot be Mbaitolu,” etc., etc.” These syndromes are ruining Igbo political system, if there is one. It is time for change. 

Suffice then to ask the following questions now. Nd’Igbo, who are your heroes?  Who are your benefactors? Who are your founding fathers? Who are your mentors?  You say “Igbo enwegh eze,” What happened to your “Council of Nzes” How come you have that word “Eze” in your language, if the position did not exist? Those who invented the phrase of lack of leadership or rulership commenced the setting up of anarchy in the Igbo nation, unfortunately.  Even now, Igbos still fail to acknowledge their heroes. Who are your The Igbo leaders? To many of you, Zik was not good, Ibiam, Okpara, Mbadiwe, (may their heroic souls rest in peace) were not good enough, Ojukwu is not good, who is good? Who do you fear? No-one? Not god? This is unfortunate. However, the fact remains and is glaring that progressive people and nations acquire their inspiration, motivation, and goal-attainment vigor through positive emulation, of attributes of their passed heroes, leaders,  mentors, benefactors, generations. Is it not because we lacked positive emulation that the children who are criminals did not imbibe those attributes, mores, character, culture, nationalistic tendencies to be humane and forward-looking individuals? Is it then surprising that many youths have now formed a major and integral part of a nation where anything goes and nothing can be done about it? Is it perplexing that many have found recourse and fulfillment in vices such as cultism, armed robbery, 419, kidnapping of parents, siblings, and relatives (to get rich quick),  prostitution, looting of government treasury, etc. Is this because “Igbos have no eze,” no law or binding legal system, no taboos, lack respect, discipline, and fear and therefore, anything goes and many parents did not portray themselves as their children’s heroes?”

Notwithstanding the seeming helplessness of the situation described above, not all is lost. America for example, started with some native Americans, a few colonists, no unifying laws and no constitution. Today, it is the greatest country in the world, despite the economic meltdown. It did not happen in a day. America listened to heroes, developed a culture of containment, assimilation of all entities, worked with inventors, talented people, erudite people, laws, pacts, agreements, legal / binding contract-signings, and the spirit of nationhood. American schoolbooks and literature are rife, preponderant and overflowing with stories of American heroes past and present. American society is one of hero-worship. Nd’Igbo cannot change the course of nature. Not everyone can be a national hero. That is the truth of the matter. However, identify and name your heroes, tell their stories for your children to emulate. In addition, Igbo parents must endeavor to be heroes to your children and not “villains, kidnappers, looters of government coffers, and / or thieves. In addition, heroism does not come in one gender. United Kingdom also has heroes. It has the strongest dynasty headed by a woman. This is because heroism and bravery does not discriminate. We must acknowledge talent and worship our heroes, whether they be male or female. Hero-worship builds positive attributes. Mahatma Ghandi, American presidents, inventors, Nobel laureates, astronauts,  national leaders, Ben Gurion of Israel, Mandella of South Africa, Nkrumah of Ghana, Aguiyi Ironsi, Muritala Mohammed, Othman Dan Fodio, Awolowo, Zik, of Nigeria, Golda Meir of Israel, and so many, many others living or dead were and are heroes, worthy of note. Thieves, looters, killers, kidnappers are never heroes no matter how their pictures are modified or painted. Nd’Igbo must have heroes for our children’s positive advancement.   

One more thing, it is also a case of concern that the Nd’Igbo have the largest turn out of cultural organizations. Every town wants to segregate itself from its neighbor for financial gains. This is ruining Igbo progress. However, it is commendable that recently many are beginning to see the positive attributes of coming together instead of disintegration. Indeed, it is high time the Nd’Igbo started seeing themselves as one physical and spiritual nation. Forget not that disintegration breeds disunity. It is not by happenstance that you all speak one language. Nature has a reason for that to happen. “Oh, he or she is from Anambra, or from Imo so I cannot deal with him or her” is another very bad syndrome. The time has come for Igbos like the Jews, the Europeans, and many other nations begin to see themselves as one, if they really desire progress and change. No matter where the Yorubas or Hausas are is in the world, they work together and see themselves as Omo Yoruba or Dan Arewa, respectively. Many Nd’Igbo on the other hand see themselves as from Imo, Anambra, Akwa-Ibom, Delta, Rivers, Cross-river, Bayelsa, etc.  To be progressive and to cease from the underdog stature in Nigerian politics, this mentality needs a reverse. If you speak Igbo, you are IGBO. No human-created or imposed boundary can change that. Coming together will give you more power, more influence, recognition, and dignity. Disintegration, and disassociating will only lead to segregation  and isolationist tendencies. We should remember that The European Union recognizes the power and strength in pulling resources and population together. Igbos must emulate positive tendencies and process, when they happen.

Great nations were built on unity of purpose, clear goals, heroism, discipline, clear opportunities for all citizens, laws, rules, regulations, agreement, culture, and not on selfishness, greed, avarice, indiscipline, individualism, anarchy, “winner takes all” effect, etc. Thus, it is indeed time for the Igbo people to set standards, and guidelines for rulership and leadership. It is time for the people to demand good education, vocation, and labor, for their children and youth. It is time to demand salary and payment at appropriate time for the workers, parents and heads of households, Government money is not private property to be shared among friends or between family members. Money meant for industries, salaries, infrastructure, vocation, labor, jobs, seem to be concentrated in the hands of individuals. That is why in Imo State and all over Nigeria, private homes are sprouting up like flowers in spring and summer while schools are dilapidated, and the youths are jobless. This is because money is held in private hands as liquid cash. That is also, why people are able to bring out tens of millions of naira when their relatives are kidnapped. As a result, kidnapping is thriving and the perpetrators know this. If the liquid cash is plunged into building industries, providing jobs, building requisite infrastructure, there will be no ready liquid cash for armed robbers and kidnappers and these crimes will minimize. In fact, money is worth more when it is used to build, advance and progress humans and society. 

My people, the time is now for deliberate and quiet revolutions in many aspects of Igbo life and culture in order to give the nationhood the dignity deserving of it. Without doing this, the IGBO nation and all of the South East of Nigeria will continue to be in perpetual anarchy and turmoil.   We must recognize heroes. Pave new ways and routes to move forward. The time is now for a reawakening to revolutionize culture, create and produce our written laws that will be integrated into the national legal system. It is time to refuse looters and thieves as leaders and rulers. It is time to be heroes for our children. It is the time to build and stop tearing down. The time is now to take stock. We have slept for too long. We must wake up.



I Do Not Care what anybody says, but a Call Without The Coming Together of Honest Minds, will make the Call redaundant!! Yes, in order to make any Progress, we MUST sign up to get together, else it will still be our Usuals: OKE NA OHIA, NGWERI NA UZO!! Some will call this mindset, "Igbo Republican Nature", and I will call it Retrogressive Mindset!! MAKANA GIDI-GIDI WU UGWU EZE.

 Absolutely Nothing takes place towards Progress and Development without Our Coming Together as a Grand Beginning; followed by Working together as a group with Sound ideas, as a Process; and subsequently followed with Execution of the Sound Ideas so Refined, in order to make any Tangible Progress and Development!!

We, as Ndi-Igbo, definitely cannot achieve all of the above, if some of us are Very Dishonest, and prefer to Operate Under Masks!! These Kinds Not being Real to themselves and to their own people. If some of us are just intersted in false and empty Positions and titles to boost deflated ego, in these unions of Togetherness; and if some come with hidden agenda, Jealousy, Envy, and Dirty hands.
Nevertheless, those who volunteer their time to Honestly answer this kind of Call are, in my book, Honorable Men and Women Ndi-Igbo Ji Aga Mba!! Idealogy may differ, but Let the Mission of IGBO EMANCIPATION Remain the Main Goalof Focus. Therefore, other unions can also Emerge to Merge at certain Point in time, when All of us get More Educated!! Otoiheoma Egbe.

Stop politicising Ugbowo-Uselu road contract, Ogiemwonyi cautions Oshiomhole

Minister of State for Works, Chris Ogiemwonyi, has cautioned Edo State Governor, Adams Oshiomhole, not to politicise the termination of the Ugbowo-Uselu road contract.

A statement at the weekend by Chief Press Secretary to the minister, Taye Akinyemi, urged Oshimhole “not to unduly politicise just for the purpose of gaining undue publicity”.

It said the ministry needed to state the facts of the case so that an issue that concerns the welfare and wellbeing of ordinary Nigerians was not unduly politicised just for the purpose of gaining undue publicity.

The statement reads in party: “It is on record that the Federal Government has put in place a policy that encourages state governments to undertake repairs/reconstruction of roads within their jurisdiction in the effort to strengthen and sustain infrastructural development across the country.

“It is also on record that many state governments across the nation have taken advantage of this policy and are working in close collaboration with the ministry in the endeavour to improve our road network.

“However, this policy is hinged on the fact that before commencement of work on each project on federal roads, approval must be sought and obtained from the ministry and each project must be carried out in compliance with the ministry’s specification and standard.

“It is in the light of the above that the Hon. Minister of State for Works, Engr. Chris Ogiemwonyi, only reiterated an existing government policy.

“It is therefore unexpected that an issue meant to strengthen an existing government policy could be given so many interpretations that defy simple logic.

“Since public private partnership is a policy of government, it would appear contradictory to discourage any authority or ministry, department and agency from implementing projects that would enhance the quality of life of the citizenry.

N138m debt: Bank may sell ex-minister’s property

A mortgage bank, Aso Savings and Loans Limited, has threatened to sell the property of a former Minister of Labour and Productivity, Senator Ibrahim Kazaure, at No. 75, 4th Avenue, Gwarimpa II Estate following the alleged inability of the ex-minister to repay a N138m debt.

The bank’s position was contained in a letter from its lawyers, Ugwu-Anichi & Co. A copy of the letter was obtained by The Punch on Monday. The mortgage bank had accused the former minister of not re-paying the loan in spite of repeated demands, since he took the loan in 2008.

Kazaure, a former Nigerian ambassador to Saudi Arabia, had mortgaged the residential property as collateral for the loan.

In the letter dated December 22, 2010, Kazaure, a former chairman of the Nigeria Deposit Insurance Corporation, obtained the loan in two tranches of N32m in January to purchase the property located in upscale Gwarimpa Estate, Abuja, where he is now resident and another N68m to complete a residential building in Kano in December, 2008.

But the ex-minister was said to have failed to re-pay the N100m loan and the accrued interest, which had risen to N138,897, 303.73 as at December 14, 2010.

THE PUNCH learnt that the decision to sell the house was the bank’s last resort, as efforts by its officials, including letters and personal visits, to get the former ambassador to repay the loan were not successful.

In one instance, officials of the bank were said to have visited him in his office while he was still minister to plead with him to re-pay the debt. They said it was leading to queries by external auditors and examiners from the Central Bank of Nigeria, but he allegedly walked them out of his office for having the effrontery to demand the re-payment of the debt.

The bank also sent him another demand letter after he was removed from the cabinet by President Goodluck Jonathan, to which he responded with a request to be given 90 days from August 19, 2010 to re-pay the debt.

“I would like to plead with you to allow me to finish and sell some of my properties undergoing renovation, i.e. one of my duplexes in (Sun City), No 1 Benue Street and others in another location. I would be very grateful if allowed a time of 90 days within which all this processes will be completed,” Kazaure pleaded in his letter to his creditor.

DPO killed Pregnant Woman, Baby

The Sunday Trust of 26 December, 2010 carried the distressing story of how the brutality of a Divisional Police Officer (DPO) at Rigasa neighbourhood of Kaduna led to the death of a nine-month pregnant woman, Binta, and her baby.

Binta’s painful journey to death, as reported in the paper, started when her three year old child lost a slippers belonging to a co-tenant who used the opportunity to insult Binta continuously. For the sake of peace, Binta bought a pair of new slippers and sent it to the co-tenant. Instead of receiving it and let the matter die, the co-tenant beat the daughter who took the slippers to her and also engaged the nine-month old Binta in a fight. By the time she was done, Binta was bleeding.

Not satisfied that she has beaten the hell out of Binta, she went to the divisional police office and lodged a complaint that Binta has fought her. The DPO ordered three policemen to arrest Binta immediately. She was taken to the police station and detained all night in spite of pleas from her relations and husband. The complainant was not arrested.

When the police realised that her condition may lead to death, they called her brother whose name they found on her cell phone. With him, the police conveyed her to a nearby clinic in a police van. The clinic declined to treat her seeing her condition and referred them to Yusuf Dantsoho General Hospital at Tudun Wada, Kaduna. There, Binta gave birth to a baby girl who died five minutes later. And Binta too died that evening.

The husband called the DPO on phone and told him that he, the DPO, has killed his wife. It was then the DPO ordered the arrest of the complainant who is renowned in the neighbourhood for her quarrels. It was too late. She has run away.

A number of things made this story very sad. One, the brutality and subsequent death was over a bathroom slippers of just N80 (50 cents)!. The DPO should have reconciled the two instead of killing one of them and her baby.

Two, relatives of the deceased begged for Binta’s bail but the DPO denied it and insisted on incarcerating the woman even as she was bleeding from the beating she received from the complainant. He was so heartless an animal that he even refused to allow her drink water which she asked the husband to provide her with.

Three, unlike Maimuna who survived her serial rape to demand for justice, Binta did not survive to even tell her story, let alone demand for justice. Nor would her baby girl know the circumstance that killed her mother, for the baby died immediately after her birth.

Four, the response of the Kaduna Police Command is most irresponsible. All it did was to transfer the DPO to another division, as if he did nothing wrong. The Commissioner of Police even refused to answer a question raised by a journalist about the incident at a press conference. The command is keeping the result of the autopsy hidden.

This story, like that of Maimuna, epitomises the callousness of many in the Nigerian Police. By the refusal of the Kaduna command to sanction the DPO, the Police have clearly chosen to side with him in the case. It is not worth any punishment, in their judgement. The police by their action are asking the nation the following questions: So what, if a Nigerian loses his life in a police cell? How many such deaths happen across the country every day in police cells? Why would Binta’s be different even to warrant a whole oga DPO to be reprimanded? It is normal!

It is this camaraderie that damages the police beyond correction. The good among them are not ready to punish or expose the bad. The guilty is hidden and protected, unless he is inconsequential when he will be used as a sacrificial lamb. That is why Inspector Dantalle escaped from being charged in Kano despite his participation in the rape of Maimuna. The girl insists that he too raped her. But the police commissioner only demoted him to sergeant. Nigerian Police Force!

The police should not therefore blame the public for any generalisation. The Police force is one of the worst institutions of government in Nigeria and one of the worst human rights violators in the world. There is no crime that its personnel have not been committing in this country. They rape the vulnerable; they kill at the slightest provocation; many have been caught in armed robbery; they provide politicians with the security cover to rig elections and harass the opposition; they extort money from drivers; they hesitate to provide security to civilians when their help is needed; just name it. Only few people were able to come outsatisfied after having any business with the Nigerian Police.

The only two explanations they give to their incapacity are their inadequate numbers and lack of sophisticated equipment. If we may ask, did the DPO in Rigasa need three policemen to arrest a pregnant woman? Did he need any equipment to detain her in her bleeding state under the subhuman conditions of the Nigerian police cell, without food or water? All he needed to do was to behave like a human being, not an animal who is animated by the little bribe from a complainant to kill an innocent mother and her baby. It is that humanity that is missing in the Nigerian police. Its personnel could freely engage in human right abuses with impunity. And because their officer corps is raised through such a regime of violations it hardly reprimands its subordinates for any misdeed. Instead, the subordinate is encouraged by the assurance of espirit de corps to violate the rights of Nigerians again and again. The police have lost the power and wisdom of self-control.

The image of the police is in its hands. It can improve it by standing up to those who violate its ethics among its rank and file, if it likes. Who is surprised that the DPO of Kwali before whom the complaint of Maimuna’s rape and sex-slavery was brought pleaded with her relations to “forgive his men”? Who is surprised that the Police command in Kano has not reprimanded him too? They have grown through the rank and file of one of the most corrupt institutions in the country. They cannot be different. Ringim has the arduous task of proving himself different by changing the pattern of behaviour of his officers. He must punish where punishment is desired. He must show his men that Nigerians are more important than the uniforms the police wear.

On our part, I think Nigerians have been handling the police with kid’s gloves. We let them go with literally anything. We call ourselves educated when we do not even know the basic elements of our rights. There are institutions we can use to seek redress, not simply sitting down and crying before a newspaper reporter. The judiciary is there. Nobody is above it. What stops victims from lodging their complaints immediately their rights are violated with public complaint commissions, with their elected representatives, with their pastors and imams, with the human rights groups in their states, with just anyone they revere?

The police, for example, shiver at the sight of a lawyer and immediately start to do the right thing. Why do we fail to avail ourselves with the services of lawyers? If the victim cannot afford one, what of the state legal aid that offers free legal services just as does the NBA to such poor victims? Going public should even be the last resort, though the radio and the newspapers have been forthcoming here.

Educating us on our legal rights I think is the best contribution any government or private agency can offer towards curtailing these abuses. It will yield more dividends than concentrating on the present approach that is largely post-mortem and very costly. Let people know that where the police are involved in a violation, very little would naturally come out from them. They cannot be judges in their own course. This is a basic presumption in law. Recourse must be found in avenues outside the rotten department. Had the relatives of Maimuna not sought the help of the Hisbah and human rights groups in Kano, her case would not have been heard by the world. The police would have suppressed it as they suppressed millions of human rights abuses before. Even now, I agree that a more prudent independent investigation needs to be carried out by an independent body on Maimuna's case as suggested by many contributors.

Since the story of Binta broke out last Sunday, I have been in contact with Sister Maryam Uwais to learn what the women groups can offer on this. Fortunately, she has been in the picture too and has discussed it with Hajiya Saudatu Sani of WRAPA. Maryam also assured me via email that “FIDA, PSC, the NHRC and a few other NGOs have also joined WRAPA in ascertaining the fact in the Rigasa matter, which is the first step.”

The DPO in Rigasa was instrumental to the death of Binta. He should be charged with voluntary homicide. Simple. Binta did not need to be his mother before he could know that a bleeding pregnant woman requires urgent medical attention, not detention in a filthy police dungeon. His classroom training must have told him that his most important duty as a policeman is the protection of life, not destroying it. Here, he chose to destroy both the mother and her baby. His training also must have taught him the principle of fair hearing, the right for the accused to be heard before he is charged.

It is, however, regrettable that his practice taught him something different. It taught him to take bribe, take sides and kill the life. In addition, it taught him that he is a sacred cow.

Not this time. After killing his victim, the coward rushed to cover his ass by ordering the arrest of the complainant and seeking a transfer. He got it. But Binta too will get justice, even in her grave. The cow must be slaughtered this time. Let the coward be rest assured.

This case makes me to suggest the formation of an NGO that would specifically address issues bordering on police human rights abuses. It can be called “Friends of the NPF” or any other suitable word because the Police force cannot have better friends than members of such organisation. The police should not see this as a threat but rather as an aid that will help them solve one of their most pressing problems. Saving the police from itself must concern every Nigerian, in my estimation. The abuses are just too many and endemic for the force to extricate itself from. It requires a concerted external pressure. The cases are also too many for existing NGOs to be tackling while they also address their primary areas of concern.

The funding of such a group should come from individuals, groups and the government, which can channel its own through the NHRC and the police departmental vote. Such a group should be composed of human right lawyers, interested ex-police officers with proven integrity, human rights groups, community leaders in its branches and interested individuals. It could even be formed jointly by human rights groups. I hope readers will help to refine this rudimentary idea and go ahead to source the people who would be ready to follow it up to fruition
 

NIGERIA WILL DO WELL IF YOU TAKE GOD OUT OF THE COUNTRY

"…The President's capability: Human capability is zero without God's approval. In many of his speeches and on his Facebook, President GEJ has always acknowledged his dependence on God to accomplish whatever is designed for him to accomplish for Nigeria . Let us join him to pray for divine guidance. His faith in God will lead him to do the good works that will move  Nigeria forward…"



If Nigerians would take God out of the country all would be well with the country. Just consider the number of places of worship in Lagos and Abuja ; churches, mosques, tabernacles, synagogues, temples, etc and the number of the congregations in these places of worship and you would be very much amazed. Now think of prayers said before any bus leaves any place, any car is turned on, before schools, before football games, before one opens one's shop and other activities. It is safe to say that Nigerians spend at least one hour a day in prayer.



Folks that is 140 million hours per day.



Even a deaf God would have heard our prayers. So I venture to assert that what is going on in Nigeria is the wish of God or that God does not answer prayers or that God despises Nigerian prayers.



Take your pick.



Please read Mr. Ayeni's quote above. He says that GEJ depends on God to accomplish what he is doing. I take that to be true. So take GEJ's accomplishments (name them one-by-one) and you will see the efficacy of praying to God in Nigeria . I think that OBJ also worked with God. Count OBJ's accomplishments and if you fail to come to the conclusion that God works in mysterious ways his wonders to perform in Nigeria , then you are blind. The size of our electric output; the quality of our roads and education; the quality of our hospitals and death rates; and a long list of our accomplishments are the answers of God's mercies to our prayers.



If we were to take God out of these places of worship, we would have a different Nigeria . The Val Ojo's of the world would see what they have been asking for. Such good things as kidnapping would disappear, the so called corruption which is nothing but a way for people to provide for their families would be things of the past; students would be tortured by teachers who would no longer be able to go "on strikes" but would be there to demand endless home work from tired students; food would be abundant leading to the sin of gluttony and to over population, a condition that one Ola Kassim has been preaching endlessly against.



Take God out of Nigeria and see the country roar!

HELEN UKPABIO LOSES WITCHCRAFT CASE AGAINST ACTIVISTS

In what might signal the end of her reign of terror over child right's activist in Nigeria. Helen Ukpabio has had her court case dismissed. The controversial female evangelist who has been accused by human rights organisation for being the arrow head in the persecution and abuse of children on account of their being falsely labeled witches and wizards, had to come to terms with her 1st legal defeat in the hands of a judge at Calabar.

Helen Ukpabio is known to justify and encourage child witch hunting by quoting a particular scripture verse from the Bible , " suffer not a witch to live". Her controversial film "end of days", has been condemned by both orthodox and pentecostal churches as being a false manipulative christian document laced with fear and sensational error.

Last week neither Helen Ukpabio's erroneous interpretation of the Bible nor her questionable annointing could save her from the hands of Justice P.J Nneke, a judge at the Federal High Court in Calabar.

Helen Ukpabio had made an application enforcing her rights against The Akwa Ibom State Government, The Commissioner of Police Cross River State, Assistant Inspector General of Police, Leo Igwe ( Nigerian Humanist Movement), Sam Itauma (Child's Rights and Rehabilitation Network) and Gary Foxtrot ( Stepping Stones).

The application was brought after Helen Ukpabio's supporters were alleged to have invaded, raided, assaulted and stolen the personal properties of Leo Igwe at a symposium organised to defend persecuted children. Even though her supporters carried out the assault, she brought an application to enforce her rights. Helen Ukpabio's application was dismissed outright, she was also charged to pay 20,000 naira as legal costs.

Leo Igwe rejoicing at the dismissal of Helen Ukpabio's application said Ukpabios response to their symposium was an illegal one, so it is wonderful news that her case against us has been dismissed".

It is not quite clear what Helen Ukpabio will do next, but the evangelist who enjoys courting controversy always organizes an end of year "catch the witches conference". Every time I am in Nigeria for Christmas, large billboards of her casting out witches adorn a major highway called Calabar Itu Road.

The government have had to pull down these bill boards in the past. Am hoping the loss of this case will cause her to sober up and will encourage her to engage in more Productive Positive Humanitarian Christian Projects.

Helen Ukpabio, may want to adorn herself with a Santa Claus costume and visit some of these children with gifts, because Love still remains the greatest message she can preach to authenticate her calling.

It was widely reported she was physically attacked recently in a western country by sympathizers of stigmatized children.

Mr. Sambo chickens out

On Christmas Eve, the disheartening ethno-religious crisis in Jos flared anew. Several bomb blasts went off in three areas of the once mild-mannered city, killing at least 32 people. The bloodletting was a tragic interlude at a time of celebration and good cheer.

As with many outbreaks of violence throughout our benighted land, the conflict in Jos had hitherto featured crude weapons, especially machetes. About the most sophisticated weapons deployed were guns of various kinds.

But now bombs have, perhaps inevitably, been brought to bear. This follows the usual trajectory of violent conflict in our country. Punches and stabbings mutate into guns and the burning of property. Then routine murder begins to take root as warring sides, in the absence of any government, surrender all inhibition. Unreason begins to rule. The Niger Delta, typically, has demonstrated how violent conflict evolves to near unmanageability. First, foreigners are kidnapped but never harmed. Then they are injured and sometimes killed. Then Nigerians are targeted, almost exclusively adults. Then the dragnet spreads to the elderly and even children. A line is crossed. The codes governing society are shredded and all bets are off.

As we all know, from bitter experience, the corrosive effects of violence almost inevitably send society plunging deeper and deeper into the abyss. Bombings used to be limited to the Delta. Then one or two installations in Lagos are bombed.

Then on Independence Day this year the heart of Abuja, the nation’s capital, is targeted for a bombing attack against innocents.

Now it’s Jos’ turn.

One by one, the dominoes fall in our country. Having been brutalised and forced to endure cold-blooded murder, the disoriented youth who populate Boko Haram have now resorted to murdering public officials throughout the north east. The Igbo states of the south east have completely collapsed into ungovernability.

Kidnapping is rampant. Thugs have ascended into the corridors of power. Civilisation recedes step by step. Our communities are, in effect, reclaimed by the bush.

The underlying cause of all this violence throughout the country is the utter absence of effective government. It is safe to say that every part of our country is roughly equally mismanaged, leaving ordinary citizens vulnerable to the rapacity of the political and business elite. Inequality is as obscene as can be found in the world’s worst societies. Every Nigerian feels s/he is alone to fend for self as best as can be managed. It’s a Hobbesian jungle out there, and sooner or later something will give.

The utter failure of government to make even the lamest symbolic moves is underscored by the fecklessness of Vice President Namadi Sambo, who was scheduled to make a perfunctory visit to Jos yesterday, Dec. 27, to commiserate with the victims and perhaps make the usual empty promises.

Mr. Sambo, it turns out, cannot even manage that much. At the very last minute, the vice president shelved his visit on account of what officials described as ‘unfavourable security reports.’ That’s right: unfavourable security reports! What conditions did Mr. Sambo expect in a city in which citizens cannot even be protected by their government, in which they are shot and knifed and bombed daily? In which their children cannot go to school, their homes and businesses cannot be safeguarded from rampaging hordes, their places of worship and their farms and public places are subject to razing at any time?

The Jonathan/Sambo government has not shown itself capable of governing, any more than the Yar’Adua/Jonathan government concerned itself with the business of running the country.

We are and we remain citizens abandoned to our fate. It is up to us, not these pretenders to the business of leadership, to figure out a way to make our country right again.

Mr. Sambo is highly unlikely to be a part of that effort at renewal.

IS THIS A NATION WITH ONE DESTINY ? IS THIS WHAT TO EXPECT ?

A STATEMENT REGARDING JOS AND BORNO ATTACKS

In the name of Allah the mighty Who has power over everything, Who made fighting the disbelievers an obligation until justice is established on earth.

May peace and blessings continue to be upon the last messenger who wage jihad, the best of it.

O Nations of the World, be informed that verily the attacks in Suldaniyya (Jos) and Borno on the eve of Christmas was carried out by us, JAMA’ATU AHLUS-SUNNAH LIDDA’AWATI WAL JIHAD, under the leadership of Abu Muhammad, Abubakar bin Muhammad Shekau (May Allah preserve him), to start avenging the atrocities committed against Muslims in those areas, and the country in general. Therefore we will continue with our attacks on disbelievers and their allies and all those who help them, until Allah’s deen triumph by His Grace and Will.

O Muslims! Do not forget that Allah has enjoined us to make provisions for fighting the disbelievers, and for that we are reminding you that the disbelievers of the world are fighting Islam and Muslims. So you must stand and strive to protect your religion and life.

With Peace
JAMA’ATU AHLUS-SUNNAH LIDDA’AWATI WAL JIHAD
Who is waging Jihad in the country called Nigeria.


Click here to download in Hausa. VIDEO: - download video here


http://www.mansoorah.net/sb_attacks.php

DELTA STATE GOVERNORSHIP RE-RUN ELECTION: LET YOUR VOTE COUNT

The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has just announced that the court ordered Delta state re-run election will hold on 6th January, 2011.
We wish to call on all Anioma people registered to vote to guard their voter's card very jealously and use it judiciously in their choice of credible governorship candidate in the January 6, 2011 re-run election. In making your choice, it is important to note that whosoever you decide as governor may take charge of the affairs of Delta state, and therefore your lives and wellbeing and those of your children for the next four years. You should therefore use your votes wisely and not be tempted by temporary gains, but consider your long term future and those of your children and kinsmen and women in deciding who you elect in this crucial election, coming up in about on January 6, 2011.

The foundation would also advice all Anioma people to not only vote, but to also defend their votes and prevent a situation where their votes are stolen, or are not counted as was the case in the 2007 cancelled election. In the words of Abraham Lincoln, "No man is good enough to rule or govern over another without his consent"...
Our Anioma young people should not be tempted, by immediate trifle gains offered by election riggers, to be used in carrying out fraudulent electoral practices as the long term pain of dubious electoral mandate hurts the people more, since the carriers of those fraudulent mandate(s) will feel unaccountable and unconcerned about the plight of the people whose votes they feel are not needed to get to power.

It is time to make your votes count. Too many of our political office holders are not accountable to us - the electorate. Let's come out and vote and make our voices heard. This election re-run is no ordinary one. The votes you cast will contribute to improving your day to day living or diminishing your quality of life and that of other Anioma people. We now have the opportunity to carefully choose who we want to serve us and reject those who do not have the best interest for Anioma people.

This press release is to let you know that this election re-run is DIFFERENT AND SPECIAL because in the past people are selected and / or imposed on us but we are delighted that the CHANGE WE SEEK IS HERE and history cannot repeat itself as the good people of our State are ready for any such eventuality. Several machineries are now in place to observe and monitor this election very closely and any malpractice or any attempt to rig the result and sabotage the WILL of the people will be met with grave consequences for both the candidates and those responsible for rigging it. Umu Anioma Worldwide will be on the ground to monitor events closely.

About Umu Anioma Foundation:
Umu Anioma Foundation Inc. is a not for profit and non-partisan Organization governed by a board of directors. Umu Anioma Foundation Inc. was incorporated under Georgia law on June 11, 2010 as the apex organization representing the general interest of Anioma indigenes worldwide. Membership of Umu Anioma Foundation Inc. comprises of Anioma indigenes that are sold on the VISION of a reconstructed value system for the common good of all.

Internal bickering can never pull PDP down.........Prince Sam obi

The acting governor of Delta state Prince Sam Obi has enjoined the PDP family in the state not to allow internal bickering tear the party apart.



         Prince Obi who made the call at a meeting with Delta North PDP stakeholders in Asaba said they should not allow unfounded rumour to disorganize them.



         He urged them to remain steadfast as nobody will either shortchange or frustrate their dreams and vision in the 2011 election.



          “I and his Excellency Dr Uduaghan felt there was need to strengthen the record and let you know what is happening in the party”.



        The acting governor commended them for their unity of purpose and resilience and promised that the party will not disappoint them.



          Dr Emmanuel Uduaghan in his own speech enjoined the PDP family to work together so that opponents of the party will not penetrate and scatter the unity built over the years.



         Dr Uduaghan who gave the assurance that all grey areas will be ironed out enjoined the party faithfuls to remain committed to the PDP programmes.



          He appealed to them to observe the rules of the game as nobody will enjoy any preferential treatment during the primaries.



        “I want us to work together as one PDP family that is why we are here to discuss as a family”.